not another teen wedding

sometimes i feel like one of those horrible movie series' that never end and keep having to come up with really stupid cheezy new titles for all of their stupid shit movies they keep coming out with. but i guess i'm not cause i can't make a few million in one night. There's a your mom joke there for the taking, if anyone gives a shmuck. I wish that i could sleep more, but everytime i close my eyes i think of something twisted and horrible, usually only horrible because of my role in it, like wanting to find the person/people who broke into my house and slowly twist every one of their fingers off, simply because they screwed up my room and took a couple thousand dollers worth of old computers. Is that really wrong, or just kinda wrong. Can it fall under the blanket of revenge, and getting back at someone who has made my home no longer feel like my home, or is it just me being a sadistic fuck. I can't even tell anymore which side of me is which, they both just blend together until i'm afraid that if something big happens i'll lose more than i bargained for, I.E. ipod. But what does it really matter? i've often asked myself, if one of my friends needed something from me, beyond anything they've ever needed, and i had to sacrifice my own freedom to give it to them, would i do it? Even I'm not so pigheaded to say yes in my head, although i wished that i would, because that would make me more of the man that i wish i was when i'm drunk enough to not worry about who i am. It's bad that i wish i was that drunk in the middle of the day, dealing with a teacher who never sees me for how hard i work, and only sees me for what clothes i wear. I wish that life was so easy that the women i'm attracted to knew it, and the ones who i am in love with but don't know it yet could show up when i need them most, and I could fight the people who make problems for me, until everything is just a simple dilemma of which guy to beat up, or which girl to fuck tonight, and always knowing that my wife loves me at home, and will always be waiting with a hot dinner and a warm pie afterwards, to share with a son or two, a few daughters, my brother and a couple nephews and neices. living up in the cold windy trees, where the only problems that find me are the ones who can hike. That would be perfect.