fear

I want to be afraid. Truly afraid for my life, sometime when i can say, my life is in danger, what am i going to do about it. Not some stupid movie scenerio, but something that's real, like the guy who jumped into the subway tracks to save a girl in front of a moving train. Using the limited knowledge that we have to protect those we don't even know in a compromised situation, that is what i want to do for a living. That is how i want to live. As jake talks about being a hero, i can understand that completely, but i don't want to be the center, as strange as it seems, i want to be behind pushing life forward for people. I want to be the construction worker who builds houses for people who have none, or the worker on the soup line who makes sure everyone gets enough. At this point in my life, i don't want to have recognition, i want to be satisfied with my own life and work simply for the sake of that satisfaction, so that the other parts of my life; free time, relationships, schooling, etc. will be equally self-assured as what i felt in New Orleans.