WHATUP

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go,
because, man, they're gone.
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
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To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
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One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going
to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a
pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but
decided to go home instead.
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I
bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it
shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo,
flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a
beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful
painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
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I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our
children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
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If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the
mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
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Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she
fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
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To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no
choreography and the dancers hit each other.
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I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they
don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with
some good ideas.
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If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons
(maybe by shoving them down his throat).
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Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call
them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what,
can't we all be brothers?
==========
Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort
of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
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I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out
that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because
I was thinking about doing that anyway.
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I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver.
And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real
quick and hand it to him.
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Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word
itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and
"ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and so is mankind.
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If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying
forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
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It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I
guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there,
rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
==========
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer,
I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
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To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I
went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
==========
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red
again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a
bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
==========
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
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I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in
my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but
it's just eggs hatching.
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Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there,
in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing
and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get
drunk? And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park
and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go
to sleep.
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Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out
it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like
a regular window.
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During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not
putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."
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If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like
I am now.
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When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call
the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and
started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
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I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and
whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger
toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had
bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled
off the paint.
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Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know
anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any
extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and
take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy
garbage guy.
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Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,
even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're
talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
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If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet
it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading
a magazine.
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If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think
it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to
teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting
the vulture.
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Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
==========
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while
you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on
a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.
==========
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run
with a wooden stake.
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If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think
a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me,
it's not.
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Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a
dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look
out your little window and think, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that."
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Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over
here, looking through your stuff.
==========
For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add
a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

PS
I'm working on a piece to put up, which is why i haven't posted in a while.

paying the price

Gazing at the sky so far,
focused on that one true star,
i cannot simply tear away,
before my beauty fades to day.

Once the horrid bright sun comes,
all feeling for my life numbs,
my ice walls slowly melt,
on my skin the sun is felt.

My eyes no longer hide the light,
from the deepest darkness night,
instead the tears slowly fall,
hopeless puddle 6 feet tall.

Hapless harmful creeping height,
without only the concept of right,
I cannot move this body's tears,
without disrupting locked up fears,

instead a fugitive inside,
no longer anywhere to hide,
when hateful rays of crayon gold,
reveal the seams from my mold.

My peace resumes its mantle,
disguising every half-glanced hate,
shrouding my darkened candle,
completing any crime of fate,

letting pleasure creep,
into a blackened shadow,
sinking infinitely deep,
releasing black truths flow

for my star.

This is one of my most favorites

clipped from xkcd.com

All credit goes to xkcd, i love their comics so much, for every reason.

P.S.

Having studied and loved physics, it's true, but the question is:
How much does it work? and is it worth it?

The answer;

Yes.

Run Spot Run

So it's one in the morning, or will be by the time i post this, I'm up at my countryhouse, knowing that i should be going to sleep soon (waking up early to go to the nearby "city"), and instead i'm staying up to write about anything that pops into my headpiece, and listening to highway to hell. So the first off, i love this place. I used to dread coming up here, part of me still does, because whenever i'm here, that means we have time off, and i'm not seeing my friends, or online (with a real internet connection), or any number of things that i love doing in the city. I have a couple friends up here, but i'm not here often enough to really cement anything, so it's just occasianal flings and parties and wild crazy midnight skinny dips, which by the way are really stupid when the water is freezing cause it's fresh mountain rivers up here...So I normally spend all my time up here doing just that, being up here. That in itself is a blessing, I get to relax all the tension and everything that i store inside of me when i'm here. Even with my parents here, i feel like i'm more me than any other place or time. There is always something i'm doing for someone else, no matter who or what it is, except here. Here i work for my dad, i shower when i have to, and i just exist. It's a simple life, eating amazing food, sleeping, working, and hanging out with no one but myself, and sometimes a movie or sommat w/ the rents. I try to keep in touch with everyone as much as possible via phone, and now internets, but usually i end up sortof dropping off the radar. One thing that always happens, is i don't shave very often, and as i'm just noticing now, i need to shave now. unfortunately, this is becoming a much more frequent problem, and i'm trying to stick to my rule of not growing it out until i get to college, partially because it's irritating, and partially because my bro looks like a weasel or rat or something, and partially because it'll just look like a spotty high school whatever for a little while, and there's no point in having that. So for right now i'm just gonna be using this blog as a little bit of a diary or something like that, but i can get feedback and also i can feel like instead of closing myself off in my own private world, in a way i'm opening myself up to everyone (everyone meaning the internet world, which accounts for almost everyone.) What i want to do, is join, or make if they don't exist but i'm sure they do, a group of writers that's completely anonymous, and simply write whatever and whenever i feel like it. I want to make this blog into that, but i'm afraid that people will just post crude shit, although that is part of it. But i cannot do that as of yet, so i'll keep it the way it is. I'm going to try to write some sort of fiction or not-fiction, for the next entry or two, so even though i may post something, it might not be the entirity of the piece, or it might be. I just haven't done much creatively recently, and i think it's been weighing down on me.

jetplane

I'm leaving tomorrow, to go up to my countryhouse. So i'll not be able to write up some of the things that i've written, although i'll try to steal my pop's computer and write online as much as possible. Hopefully it'll be every day ish, but i doubt i'll get it that often. I want to try to write every day at least and then just throw it up on the blog in chunks, so we'll see how things turn out.

freedom

the fourth of july signifies the day that america was freed from the british officially. On this "hallowed" day, i want everyone to consider the meaning of freedom.

What you do each day that is completely free

What you would do if you could be free

Why you are not free

What freedom really means to you.

All of these are for ponderance's sake, and nothing else. If you need more specifics on each part, then you're being too anylitical, take each one for excactly what they mean to you, and consider them yourselves. I'll try to answer them myself in a little while, hopefully you'll be inspired, who knows.

fireworks

Going off to long island for the fourth of july. i'm excited.
I get to see some friends
i get to see some fireworkes

ANNDDD

I get to be a G, but that's normal....

back home

I got home today, i'm gonna go to sleep in a sec, but i wanted to throw something up, just to keep in the habit, so it won't fall into disrepair. I realized that i love using the internet as my tool and entertainment, and that I love searching and finding, and adding new things constantly online, there's something about it that just attracts me like almost nothing else. Strangely it's like learning about an interesting girl, see previous post? that you want to get to know everything about, but know that you'll never be able to understand them on that comprehensive level because she's a girl...well i'm not an internet, but i sure do enjoy it. Anyway, i got home today, and i leave tomorrow. I need to wake up in the morning and pack up/clean up for long island, then my countryhouse to start work for my dad. It feels like i've been gone for so long that when i really think about it and realize that ive only been gone for 2 weeks it seems crazy to me, but that's the way it works. The wrestling camp was one of the greatest experiences of my life, really, if you havent read my instant reaction to it that i posted earlier. recently i haven't really written many stories or poems, so i'm going to try to get back into that, probably once i get to my countryhouse. I had a four pack on the last day of camp, but it went away really quickly because i was touring colleges and eating a lot w/o the 4 a day intensive practices. I've been working out a little bit, with occasional hard workouts when i can hit a gym at the hotel we stayed at, but i haven't been running the same way, every day. Now that my life has settled a little bit i'm going to start running every morning, hoping to drop down to about 165 by the end of the summer, which would put me at a 4% body fat, not to maintain, but at least to hold a little over 170 so that i don't need to lose crazy pounds before wrestling season, make it a lot easier on my body i think. Being back with my parents is only partially a trial. They havent changed at all, even though it feels as if i have, meeting new people, changing my life as well as my body and my mind. Wrestling is almost completely in the mind, all about continueing past your boundaries, and pushing beyond your fears and pains. Hopefully i can apply that to every aspect of my life. Tomorrow i go see john (my therapist) maybe i'll write out a little summary of what i'll say to him or sommat tomorrow before i go, so that i remember better. Another thing that camp gave me is that it restored a little bit of an experimental attitude with girls. Just being able to flirt with no reprocutions and just play around with them, no intentions or future, was lots of fun. Especially after dealing with Julia, both in relationship and once it ended, i think i needed that mental and emotional release, it just came when i was getting a physical and mental release through wrestling. In a very strange way i feel renewed, full of determination to make and form my life into what i want it to be, instead of struggling to fight agaisnt everything. Like when you face up against someone as good as you, instead of worrying about it, and trying to be good, you just move, flow, shoot, block, and keep going. The key is not to give up, and i think that i've been trying so hard to force my own way, that i haven't seen that i'm using all my strength, instead of using it to streamline myself, and then slip forward in the direction i want to persue. added a couple colleges to the list;

RPI- great academics, intensive studying and not a terrible amount of distraction, great research

Case Western- same as RPI except you have a lot more diversity b/c it's in clevelend and has more focus on other sections of study, including a large artistic and musical community.

Penn State- a huge resourceful school, opportunities to do whatever i want, great social life, not as much of an academical pinnical, but i could mold my education to be excactly what i want it to be after the first couple years of rote work.

Ohio State- similar to PSU, but it is a little more widespread in the MATSci focus, and involves a specialization after your junior year, which i like. They have a foundry at the school, and seem a lot more open to the idea of me building or bringing or finding a forge and working on it in school.

Drexel- I would go to drexel for 2 things, because it would work to my advantage, instead of against me, completely, and for the coop program, which is amazing, and would have me working for 3 6month periods of time, although most other schools have the ability to coop, drexel is where i would go for it. I love the feel i got from drexel too, it seems like a place i would thrive.

So that's the college circumstances, If you skipped that whole thing, which is reasonable, because i was kindof just writing it for myself, I've got another post started, and i'm gonna work on it for a while, probably it'll turn into another autobied piece of fiction. Like Shoes, who knows.

illin' picture

clipped from bp1.blogger.com

grits

grits and gravy is what god gave me, so for e'ry kid i meet who doesn't share his meat, i kick their ass, cause i ain't got no beef, i got grit, in every bone, bend and burn, my skin never feels no yearn for what i used to have or what i could become, instead i fight with dagger and gun every time i see the sun for what no one has won; happyness.

want

I want a girl. One of those that you see a picture of them with their guy and you just see that they are together, no matter what. I want a girl who is so complicated that i won't even try to understand, so i will never mess up my understanding of her. I want a girl who i can really talk at, to make me feel better, and who i can listen to, to make her feel better, but i want to be able to talk, and laugh about evrything with her. But most of all, i want a girl who i can curl up next to, and feel her long smooth legs against mine, and hold her silky soft body close to my chest, and have her fall asleep trapped in my eyes, until i fill up with the sight of her and cannot keep them open, gently drifting to sleep knowing that she'll be there when i wake up. I want that girl.

grimey

I'm in a grimey hotel, and it is disgusting.

i don't really know how to write them

I don't really know how to write blog entries, i've noticed that almost always i start out somewhere, and end somewhere else, so i'll have to work on that.

fear

I want to be afraid. Truly afraid for my life, sometime when i can say, my life is in danger, what am i going to do about it. Not some stupid movie scenerio, but something that's real, like the guy who jumped into the subway tracks to save a girl in front of a moving train. Using the limited knowledge that we have to protect those we don't even know in a compromised situation, that is what i want to do for a living. That is how i want to live. As jake talks about being a hero, i can understand that completely, but i don't want to be the center, as strange as it seems, i want to be behind pushing life forward for people. I want to be the construction worker who builds houses for people who have none, or the worker on the soup line who makes sure everyone gets enough. At this point in my life, i don't want to have recognition, i want to be satisfied with my own life and work simply for the sake of that satisfaction, so that the other parts of my life; free time, relationships, schooling, etc. will be equally self-assured as what i felt in New Orleans.

so.

a crying woman turns to her husband, and tearfully asks why he's leaving her. She begs him on her knees to stay, pouring out her soul through her watered eyes. He turns as she says "But I love you."
"so?" he replied.
The door closed behind him.