please doctor

this is the first piece: I'm working on the next section.

I shuddered awake, hands grasping, trying to keep his dream alive. As my senses came back to this dark reality, i felt the throbbing pain of a constipated orgasm. i hurried to the bathroom to perform a service that was once a pleasure, but no longer. Now i'm kept awake by dreams i hope to have, so i wander the world looking at nothing. This day started early, my waking at four in the morning meant that i wouldn't be getting any more sleep. drearily i walked into the shower, turning on the cold. I let my skin shrink to fit my form once again, under the bombardment of freezing particles. i took my daily toxin, caffiene, vitamins, claritin, painkillers, a thousand pills a day keeps the doctors away... But i had to see a doctor this day, once a year i bluff my way through a visit, trying to convince them i was doing ok. Dealing with cold professionals, not what you want to do on a couple hours of sex-ridden sleep. But i had to do it, had to get the forms signed to keep me working, the only thing that was keeping me from slicing my skin into little strips and meeting the devil face to shredded face.
As always, i was met by a nurse, who i followed to the private waiting room. It was all organized by my company; they didn't want too many people staring at me all the time, i was useful in my ability to fade into the world. so i found myself in a private waiting room, but i wasn't alone. For the first time, there was someone else filling the many seats. She was beautiful, not only because she was good-looking, wearing a business skirt, high heels, her black lace bra clearly evident through her thin white shirt, but because she was another person, someone who would stare at me, watch me, see me before i put on my face for the doctor, see me after i forced a signature out of him. She would see me at my finest and my worst, and she didn't know my name.
I had never seen a business woman before, with her hair done up, her legs crossed primly, nothing out o place at all. The urge rushed over me to tear her shirt off, revealing the daily exercised body that she was so proud of. running my hands all over her bare skin. I wanted to pull her hair out of it's tight bun, letting her free from society's constraints. Instead i sat down across from her, closed my eyes and put my music on, and let myself drift.
I opened my eyes when my music stopped, and she was sitting next to me with my ipod in her delicate hands. I openly looked at her, while her eyes were attracted to mine, letting my vision roam over her wonderfully hidden body. She was still looking at me as i returned my gaze to her face. My face turned bright red, as i recognized the impropriety of what i had just done, but i could not have stopped myself with a sledgehammer.