I'm so sick it's ridiculous. So i guess life didn't work out too well for me anyway, everything going my way, and then i get incredibly sick on the most important week of my recent times, Mara's here, and it's the week preceding States, and all i can do is lie in bed or walk really slowly around. My whole body hurts, which i think is a combo of the tournament on saturday (where i was already sick) and my illness, whatever it is.
these are the new 2009 releases in hitop dunks; i like a couple of them i'll let you figure out which ones:
http://www.sneakerfiles.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/nike-dunk-high-2009-preview-1.jpg
and here are some nice AF1s newly released in lowtop that i enjoy, mara says they're "too gangsta"...i wonder what that means.
http://sneakermestupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/nike-air-force-1-release-dates-dec-08-black-royal1.jpg
thanks. i hope i feel better, and stop missing out all of my perfect week...
9.2.09
6.2.09
life and a backwards dog
First:
the last post was whiny and ridiculous, and you should discount it completely, i'm only not deleting it because i decided not to delete it. ON a real note, i'm happy see me smile XD, Mara is coming tomorrow, and i have the Ivy league tournament, which i'm souped for! i'll get another chance at Edwards, and i'm pumped to knock his head off. As far as shoes, i found these a while ago but i don't know if i put them up so:
http://www.pickyourshoes.com/new4/nike_air_force_2_hi_vroy_wht_flint.htm
and yes i made that a hyperlink just for a particular person...it will never happen again. but you're welcome. After tomorrow my life will just be easy or something right? no real work, a little fun stuff, a little required work, but nothing crazy. I'm interested in most of my classes, or at least enough that i don't need to worry about it. Wrestling is really teh only thing that absorbs all of my time now, and writing too, but i've actually been able to sleep a little bit as well, probably cause i'm so exhausted physically that i can't keep going, but it's been good, i have no right to complain, i guess this is my explination for why you should disregard the last post :P. Got into RPI, city champion, soon to be ivy champion again (fingers crossed and doing pushups){i really like that expression, it indicates both sides of what i believe in; luck and work/dedication as a means of achieving things} plus there's ALL the girls and guys who are completely in love with me and shower me with adoration on an hourly basis of course....BULLSHIT!!! haha, i'm just trying to have fun and survive in this world, and right now it's working right? so i'll leave it at that with a little note about beliefs; i was talking and thinking about god, or spiritual belief or something, and i'm an athiest, but i believe in luck, that you can be lucky or unlucky or that things can be determined by true chance, probably coming from too many video games w/ dice or something, but i think that does exist, not as a controllable aspect of life. Does that mean i believe in a form of god? i don't think so, but who knows, it would be really interesting if people responded or posted on their own blogs about their own beliefs, in specifics not just, i'm a christian, because a lot of people don't really know, but when they begin to think about it they realize that they've actually got some form of deityism that they believe in, i'm intrigued.
One.
Afternote: what is godness?
the last post was whiny and ridiculous, and you should discount it completely, i'm only not deleting it because i decided not to delete it. ON a real note, i'm happy see me smile XD, Mara is coming tomorrow, and i have the Ivy league tournament, which i'm souped for! i'll get another chance at Edwards, and i'm pumped to knock his head off. As far as shoes, i found these a while ago but i don't know if i put them up so:
http://www.pickyourshoes.com/new4/nike_air_force_2_hi_vroy_wht_flint.htm
and yes i made that a hyperlink just for a particular person...it will never happen again. but you're welcome. After tomorrow my life will just be easy or something right? no real work, a little fun stuff, a little required work, but nothing crazy. I'm interested in most of my classes, or at least enough that i don't need to worry about it. Wrestling is really teh only thing that absorbs all of my time now, and writing too, but i've actually been able to sleep a little bit as well, probably cause i'm so exhausted physically that i can't keep going, but it's been good, i have no right to complain, i guess this is my explination for why you should disregard the last post :P. Got into RPI, city champion, soon to be ivy champion again (fingers crossed and doing pushups){i really like that expression, it indicates both sides of what i believe in; luck and work/dedication as a means of achieving things} plus there's ALL the girls and guys who are completely in love with me and shower me with adoration on an hourly basis of course....BULLSHIT!!! haha, i'm just trying to have fun and survive in this world, and right now it's working right? so i'll leave it at that with a little note about beliefs; i was talking and thinking about god, or spiritual belief or something, and i'm an athiest, but i believe in luck, that you can be lucky or unlucky or that things can be determined by true chance, probably coming from too many video games w/ dice or something, but i think that does exist, not as a controllable aspect of life. Does that mean i believe in a form of god? i don't think so, but who knows, it would be really interesting if people responded or posted on their own blogs about their own beliefs, in specifics not just, i'm a christian, because a lot of people don't really know, but when they begin to think about it they realize that they've actually got some form of deityism that they believe in, i'm intrigued.
One.
Afternote: what is godness?
4.2.09
it's a trap,
Doesn't matter what i do or say, I end up pushing everyone away, I wonder when all the girls who've said "it's not you, it's me" as a way of letting me know it really IS me, when will they all get together and talk about it, and say, oh i remember him, he was the one who led me on, or he was the one who i thought really liked me, or he was the one who was good in bed but i'd never want to date him, or he was the one who you couldn't trust, or he was the one who would make a bad father, or he was the one who i liked but he couldn't settle down, or he was the one....is that all i'm ever going to be? never really having an impact on anyone's life except being one of their flames from way back when, the one that you barely remember. I've had a few, and i don't want to become one to all of my closest friends, even though that seems to be what happens. I guess i can help it by running away myslf so they don't have to run from me, but i've never been much of a runner. I'm not trying to guilt trip you, or make you feel bad or anything. I'm just tired of climbing mountains and finally getting to the top, only to find another one in my way. I get tired of never ending uphills, like that twisted staircase image. When everything works out for a while, when everything goes my way, i start looking for the problem. Sometimes i see it ahead of time, but most of the time i don't expect it at all. Therapists suspect that i somehow sabatoge myself whenever my life becomes too good. i guess that's probably it. although my therapist got sick a little while ago, so i haven't been able to see him for a long time. That's my self-deprecating rant for the while, it doesn't matter how i feel as long as my life is good right? So i'll just ignore it and make sure everyone else knows that my life is still just as perfect. 2 more days, thursday, friday, than saturday is a really big day, ivy's and mara's arrival in the same day, it'll be exciting. So i'll keep busy, specially cause i have to get enough sleep so that i can wrestle at my top, which means a lot of sleeping pills, and maybe actually doing work, we'll see. If i can just last out this last piece i should be set. 2 more weeks and i'm done w/ wrestling, although it'll be a little different now if i'm not talking to one of the people i thought i would be, but i'll still have a lot more time to do what i want, it'll be nice, but i'll miss daily practaces and all that. Today was my last home meet ever at dalton, and it was kinda pitiful, a lot of forfeits and then a couple pins and all, i got a fish, which was not too much fun, just a quick pin. Strange to think about things like that. We won, clinching 3rd in the ivy league i believe, and on friday we'll have to beat martin luther to take 1st in the PSAAs, that would be cool, but our team is pretty much all sick, which means it'll be hard to take that, if we do it'll also be our 10th win this season, whcih would be really good. Catch you around.
Doesn't matter what i do or say, I end up pushing everyone away, I wonder when all the girls who've said "it's not you, it's me" as a way of letting me know it really IS me, when will they all get together and talk about it, and say, oh i remember him, he was the one who led me on, or he was the one who i thought really liked me, or he was the one who was good in bed but i'd never want to date him, or he was the one who you couldn't trust, or he was the one who would make a bad father, or he was the one who i liked but he couldn't settle down, or he was the one....is that all i'm ever going to be? never really having an impact on anyone's life except being one of their flames from way back when, the one that you barely remember. I've had a few, and i don't want to become one to all of my closest friends, even though that seems to be what happens. I guess i can help it by running away myslf so they don't have to run from me, but i've never been much of a runner. I'm not trying to guilt trip you, or make you feel bad or anything. I'm just tired of climbing mountains and finally getting to the top, only to find another one in my way. I get tired of never ending uphills, like that twisted staircase image. When everything works out for a while, when everything goes my way, i start looking for the problem. Sometimes i see it ahead of time, but most of the time i don't expect it at all. Therapists suspect that i somehow sabatoge myself whenever my life becomes too good. i guess that's probably it. although my therapist got sick a little while ago, so i haven't been able to see him for a long time. That's my self-deprecating rant for the while, it doesn't matter how i feel as long as my life is good right? So i'll just ignore it and make sure everyone else knows that my life is still just as perfect. 2 more days, thursday, friday, than saturday is a really big day, ivy's and mara's arrival in the same day, it'll be exciting. So i'll keep busy, specially cause i have to get enough sleep so that i can wrestle at my top, which means a lot of sleeping pills, and maybe actually doing work, we'll see. If i can just last out this last piece i should be set. 2 more weeks and i'm done w/ wrestling, although it'll be a little different now if i'm not talking to one of the people i thought i would be, but i'll still have a lot more time to do what i want, it'll be nice, but i'll miss daily practaces and all that. Today was my last home meet ever at dalton, and it was kinda pitiful, a lot of forfeits and then a couple pins and all, i got a fish, which was not too much fun, just a quick pin. Strange to think about things like that. We won, clinching 3rd in the ivy league i believe, and on friday we'll have to beat martin luther to take 1st in the PSAAs, that would be cool, but our team is pretty much all sick, which means it'll be hard to take that, if we do it'll also be our 10th win this season, whcih would be really good. Catch you around.
1.2.09
I did it! i really can't barely believe it. every match i can clearly remember, pinning each guy, 3 in the first period (1:50, 40, 50) and the finals in the second period (3:40). I remember the whole match, but it still hasn't really hit me that i've really won. Completely. I'm just amazed. It's a good feeling, i'm also incredibly tired, but my endorphins and adrenaline are keeping that away. tomorrow i'm going to be CRAZY sore :P but it was definitely worth it.
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