seasons

It's a HOT time for that musak, new albums poppin' off all over the place, making me psyched for shit coming out, just thought i should drop a note, make sure no one's missing out on everything going down.
new big noyd album, new D-block album, new ace hood, new coolio, and a new E-noble. I'm set.

In other news, i failed another driving test, cause i didnt' use my signal a couple times when i was pulling away from the curb...even though i didn't actually change lanes but drove straight, it qualified as a "pull out" which means i needed a signal. So i was upset about it, but now i just don't give a fuck. It's just aggravating, but the real thing that gets to me, is the fact that it's indicitive of stupid shit that keeps getting in my way, and how i always make stupid mistakes that screw me over in all the different facets of life. I think i've been a little too relaxed with myself, and so i've slipped a couple times when i really shouldn't. That's what's been going through me recently. Oh yeah i found a piece i wrote in vietnam that i read to a group, i'll type it up sometime when i have a minute, cause i figger i should type it up anyways. so incase there's anyone who actually reads this blog and enjoys knowing what's going on in someone else's head. I've got a couple actual pieces to put up that'll entertain you as the internets should. Thanks

Crazy world of life

My life is crazy, but good/bad. Recently everything has either been working out, or i've been dealing with it not working out. I've actually been on top of everything, managing everything. It seems like my final year will actually work out. I'm producing a record, and almost everything is looking up. The downsides are that i'm so busy i can't even think. I haven't had the time to really write anything in along time, but i'm planning on fixing that. I'm planning on posting more regularly, because once i get back into it i think that i'll really be able to let go again, and express myself completely, making life a little less stressful. My dad and i aren't really talking too much right now, but i'm ok with that, i'd rather not be talking than constantly be fighting at home, which seem to be the choices. I've learned a lot about how to exist on this world, and how to just set your mind to something and do it, with out hesitating or debating. And how to make yourself do or not do something against the stimuli of your desires. Those two things are helping me take control of my life again. It's a pretty wonderful feeling. There are some bad parts, of course, but in general i'm managing to ignore them, or accept them as a part of things. I still miss Mara, but i'm surviving, and emailing, and i will continue indefinately. My mind has been tired most of the time from lack of sleep, cause my days are just so full and busy, but I'm used to that. Been losing weight too, and in a few weeks i should drop back down to 170, and look fit as a flying monkey's face. So in general, i'm enjoying life, for once, and i recognize that it's my own effort that's making it work that way. I do want to work on not being as flirtatious, because i've gotten in trouble quite a few times so far because of it, and also work on being self-centered, stop worrying about myself so much more than everyone else around me (it makes sense that i do it to a certain extent). So those are pretty much my "resolutions" if you want to label them that, but really i just want to become a "better" person, and shape up who and what i want to be.

blank space

Is blank space that bad?

















can we be blamed if we see everything when there is nothing there
If we don't fill a page with words, do we keep our options open? or are we just procrastinating.









The best inspiration is my blank page, for i can stare at it for hours, and my mind will float away from my fingers, but as soon as i begin to write, that freedom shrinks and shreds, slipping from between the tips of the pads on the end of my last digits.











That makes it perfect.