wrestling

so it's the first day that i've really had an opportunity to write, and i have to say that i've been thinking about writting a little bit, not a lot, but enough to propel myself at 4 in the morning to type up a little something. I went to a 7 day intensive wrestling camp. It was a psychotic amount of work, having 3 hard workout sessions a day with a morning run as well. What i feel was the culmination of the trip was when we ran an entire stadium, 2850 steps, every single stair. What penny said i think holds true, that there is something inside of me that has been effecting everything in which i live and to which i compare. I think that this wrestling camp has taught me something else, that there is nothing that is trully beyond my mental power to control within me. That's a very complicated statement, and probably obtuse to anyone who isn't in my head. When you push yourself so far beyond your physical limits, and continue to function at 110% of your normal capacity, simply because you force yourself to, you learn something, i know i did. I learned that my own life is really up to me, american beauty anyone? and that when i come across something that seems impossible, it is simply because I'm looking at it from a unique point of view, and that it may be possible from another. The experience of running up a set of 110 stairs, the first set, and having my legs be really tired after the first set alone, and knowing that i had about 30 more to go was something that stayed with me, along with the knowledge of having to finish. So wrestling has given me pride, in myself, and the need to prove myself, not in a physical or mental or emotional way, but to myself. If i do not succeed in my own eyes, then i cannot succeed in anything, that is at the heart of what i think has been troubling me recently, and i have been much more at ease in my own skin the past couple days, it has been wonderful.