flight

So I'm chilling in Martha's Vineyard with Matt now. Mad amounts of fun, already been playing WoW a bunch. Meteor shower tonight, at like 2:30, so I'll prolly be up watching that, but I'm mad tired, so you never know what'll happen. I put some pictures up of the patio, there are more, and I'll try to put up a schematic of the whole thing, and some pictures of the walkway out front that's my favorite piece we did. The flight was pretty delayed, but I brought tetris for the old gameboy, thanks a lot Mari, I got me hooked again by giving it to you :P It's pretty silly. I beat it 5 times while waiting for the flight, and then again on the flight itself >.< Talked to Miranda, she seems really good, makes me happy to hear her voice. I'll catch you guys tomorrow.

patiooo

that's mostly what the patio looks like

pictures tomorrow

So I'm back in town momentarily, seeing people like crazy! Trying to have an opportunity to see people before I leave. Tomorrow I'm going to put the pictures up, really. See you guys then.

goodbye

I said goodbye today,
to a lot of things inside my head,
some people even heard me say,
goodbye. But I'm not dead.

I had to say goodbye today,
to someone who I cherish,
set not in stone but just soft clay,
someone to see before I perish.

I wanted to say goodbye today,
but I couldn't choke out the words,
to whisper softly as I lay,
the time is past, the milk is curds.

I couldn't say goodbye today,
could not stand the loneliness,
it wasn't too high a price to pay,
but she was wearing such a pretty dress.

A strong Goodbye I said today,
I spoke within myself.
Declared it loud to mental me,
and put emotions on a shelf.
I wanted more time, beyond today,
more time for me and you and you,
but there is no time to roll in hay,
for you are leaving too.

leaving

Tonight is my last night up here for a while, although I'll be staying for one night before going up to RPI on the 25th just to break up the driving a little bit, it won't really be the same. I'll be on my way to something else and not really thinking about being here the same way, although there will probably be moments of pondering throughout the night that I doubt I'll be sleeping. It feels a little funny not to know when I'll really have more time here, although I get tired of being her basically alone from the company of my friends, recently I've had people come visit me and have enjoyed seeing them in the context of this beautiful place, which has removed a lot of the loneliness I normally attach to Gilboa. Tomorrow I head back to the city, and I'll be desperately trying to see everyone who I want to see and need to have one last contact with before I disappear, and at the same time I'll be trying to get enough shopping for last minute things in that I won't be desperate on the last day I'll have in the city (somehow I feel like I'll be a little bit busy packing then...) I've got a bunch of pictures that I'd like to put up, this weekend was a lot of fun, hanging with Jess and getting to show her around this part of my world a little bit, but it felt like she was barely here before it was time to go, so that was a little sad, I guess part of it is because I slept till 9 both days >.< so late for me recently. We found a turtle in the middle of the road, it turned out to be a painted turtle, and we saved it from whatever car may have hit it in the future, put it instead down by our little runoff creek by the driveway. I took a buncha pictures, and tomorrow, when I get back to the high-speed internet world, I'll put the ones I like the most up, as well as patio pictures, and maybe even a few of people and the weird things that they do and look like! Heh, maybe I'm evil. I do very much miss a fast internet, that and my friends are the things that draw me back to the city from the back country. If I had a lot of friends up here, and a fast internet, I would never need to come back! That's not true, but I enjoy the pretense behind it. I've been doing a lot of thinking, probably too much but that's what happens when you've suddenly stopped working and have a lot of free time on your hands, but I'm in the middle of a good book in the middle of a good series (the fourth book of the Belgariad by David Eddings, one of my favorite authors [nod to Josh from way back when]) so I'll have to do a full report of mental ponderings at some later date, I have a feeling that my time tomorrow and Tuesday will be jam packed with visiting and shopping and packing and organizing. My thoughts might not be with you specifically, but maybe they are, they tend to flit around a lot.
-R

So I'm exhausted, but today was the last day working on the patio that we made. I thought I would try to upload a coupla photos, so we'll just have to see if it's worth it. Besides that I'm going to sleep early tonight, still have a little work to do that I'll finish tomorrow, and then Jessi's coming to visit. Really looking forward to it, haven't had much of a chance to just be with her (ahem, ms. I have work everyday all summer). Sorry this is such a measly report, but I'm worn out. photos to follow.
photos failed, I'll put them up later.

foods

So this is all about food. I'm chilling upstate, family and Mari left on Monday (yesterday) after dinner, and I'm making/eating food on my own, and working of course. But I've gotta get up, make my own coffee, my own sandwich for lunch, get all my shit together, make morning toast (or a Poptart for a treat cause my mom got them for me during one of those "my baby's leaving soon I want to spoil him" moments that I capitalized on :P) and then stay on schedule getting out the house to drive to work. When I get home, I've got to make myself dinner, although there's a lot of cold chili and mac and cheese in the fridge, I ate a burger tonight, my bro made it when he made his from the rest of the beef and left it in the fridge for me, so I put a little Tabasco into the mix and threw it onto the grill for a few. Got it PERFECT, very surprising to me, but it was the perfect medium-rareness. So I got a delicious burger, and I've been thinking about food since then pretty much. A lot of people don't eat meat, and I can understand that they have personal views that interfere with them enjoying one of the most(if not the most) delicious foods, but it's never for me; I would be perfectly fine with hunting my own food even, although I think that a lot of people would not be able to stomach something they killed themselves, it would be essentially perfect for me, my qualms for eating food is the support of unhumane activities performed on animals in order for me to easily obtain and eat them, but if I worked and struggled to track, find and kill an animal, in the most essential way I have taken their life, and am the most deserved to eat them (very carnivorous and animalistic I know, but I think it makes a lot more sense that way). I hate people who hunt for sport, it makes absolutely no sense and I find it a disgusting useless waste of life, similar to soldiers slaughtering helpless people asking for help, if you use chemicals or something that force a deer to come to a certain place and sit drinking beer in a blind up in a tree waiting for it than you deserve to fall and break your neck. Hunting is such an essential part of animals, humans are still animals, that I'm sure some part of those people feel every instinct rebelling against the unnatural death of the creatures they kill. But I've gone way off topic, I meant to be talking about how much I love food, and how much it means to me to be able to eat every single day, 3 times a day at least. That I am allowed by our society to eat basically whatever I want, when I want. And that I've had a childhood where I've only gone hungry by my own actions or because I get hungry too quickly for my parents to carry me home as a small child :P. Not to say that I've never been hungry, but that in some manner I could have changed the occurences and incidents that led to me not going home and not having money. A little different of a situation than some homeless people (not all, probably not even most). That's the main reason that I usually give change to homeless people, I do know hunger, and I hate seeing someone else have to go through it.
So that's my rant on food :P hope you enjoyed it. Quick update for anyone who cares, if you don't fuck off xD Work was hard today, a fairly long day; 10 hours, which means I got home pretty tired, unfortunately I didn't take a shower because I learned there was a new WoW patch, and I have been trying to download it...How long will it take you might ask? on a slow dial-up system in the middle of nowhere in New York State? Oh only about 63 hours.... So I'll probably be back in the city by the time it's done.... Makes me a little sad because now I won't be able to play till I get the patch and all. Sigh. Sounds like my parents are coming back tomorrow instead of friday, which is honestly quite a disappointment to me, I though that they trusted me with the house, but apparently they can't leave me alone for more than a day. That's the true way it feels to me, despite all the various excuses, but it's ok, soon I'll be gone for good and will see them every so often, so it doesn't really affect me whatever the real reason is, I just wished I had more than one night to myself to think and write like I'm doing tonight is all, and definitely more time in order to listen to music on the good speakers, when my rents are around my kind of music isn't acceptable on the house's speakers. True to my statement I'll try to keep throwing something up, we'll just have to see how much I manage as we try to squeeze the rest of the work into these next three days, I'm going to be working real hard because I want to finish the patio in 2 days, and then George has a little more work for me, building some shelves in his house with him, So I should be done working by the weekend. If that works than I can go back to the city with my mom on Monday, see people monday and Tuesday and head to MV on wednesday or something. If work doesn't work out that way than I'm going to need to seriously figure things out, but I will, no worries. This place is beautiful, and I have no doubt that I'm going to get a forge built up here, then I can come up here and work on metals sometimes from RPI, maybe in a year or so, but still at sometime. I still can't get over how amazing it is here, but I'm exhausted, I seem to have poured the last of my energy into this post, and I still haven't showered yet, must be crazy. Till tomorrow.
-R

the workin' life

So it has been quite some time since my last post. Been real busy for most of it. But everything has been on a slow wind upwards. I'm making real money! My job pays 15$ an hour usually, I'm working with George building a stone patio. It's me him and a guy named Tom, an EE graduate from Alfred! Small world right? He's real cool too, and the job is fun even if it's a crazy amount of work. Been waking up around 5, because we start early, on the site at 7:30 everyday, and we've been working usually till 3 or 4, with maybe 15 minutes for lunch around 10:30 or 11. Most of what I'm doing is hauling stones to where they're supposed to lay and then placing them, picking them back up, shoveling more crusher dust (stone dust that we use to set the stones) or raking more out from under one side, and then putting it back down, repeating this process until the stone is roughly level and matches all the other stones that surround it in the patio. Besides work, life is looking pretty good. When I went to my orientation at RPI, it solidified my fears, most of the kids who were in the same dorm floor as me (we had some "bonding" moments, and then real bonding moments once the advisors went to bed) had never drunk or done drugs, and by most I mean all except me and this other girl. So definitely a little different of a social scene than I'm used to, but I figure that I'll get used to it eventually. There is a social life, there was a dance party hosted as part of the orientation piece, and it was a little sad, there were teh 30% (girls) dancing in the middle, and all the guys outside not really dancing because they felt too awkward, so i got to tear shit up! It was mad fun! I ended up doing a handstand pushup in the middle of a circle of girls, which I haven't really ever done successfully before, and one of the advisors (they were all RPI students) challenged me and I didn't really embarrass myself too badly :P It was fun, and hopefully the other guys will take note that even if you can't dance well you can still dance, and have girls get interested if that's the goal you're after. It wasn't for me. Maybe it's Jake's fault, but I've started enjoying dancing for it's own sake, and regretting that it didn't happen earlier, because it's fun when you just don't give a shit about who's watching or what you look like. Last night I danced to the whole sam cooke album live at harlem square with my mom, dad, and mari, and sometimes by myself, heh. He's just way too catchy to not get up and move! Anyway, I'm hoping I'll have more time to hit this up a little now, I'm going to try to hit it once every day at least, with work it's usually in the evening. My bro's got one too, but i haven't had a chance to check it out yet, I think he's still in the "just got a blog need to post every 5 minutes" stage of things. Ah the good old days :P I wish I still felt that way, but I'm pseudo-glad that it doesn't consume all of my time. I'm definitely going to change the direction of this blog; it is right now something amorphous, but I'm going to try to channel it into a little bit of a journal about what's going on with me, and definitely a place where I can publicly talk about things that interest me, music, movies, girls, foods, parties, everything. So hopefully if I can start really writing stories again, note that all of the hundreds of stories I've written in the past couple months are almost all less than a page in length, I'll put those up too, but as is I'm just cruising, and this is my weekend off for a little while, and I've finally got a few benjigreens in mah pocket. To all my boys in the big BK who've been holding down the fort while I'm upstate, I heard about that shit you did down by the simplex, that shit is ILL. And my bro did a pretty sick piece that he showed me, hopefully he'll eventually get his lazy ass (I hope he's reading this) in gear and do a piece up on teh roof over that dumbass. I'll even help buy the paints for him, maybe. I'll catch you guys on the flip side.